I don’t know why this moon has turned red. I loved this
moon. I loved it white with some black patches. Nobody tells me the reason why
it has turned red. My friends told me that its your fault, agreed. But when i
try to understand the truth, this FM radio has all the nonsense songs to play.
It distracts me. What should i believe in? In me or in what others say to
believe in? I know I am being very personal, but what should i do. I thought
correcting somebody's mistake might help me. Now my friends will ask what help
you need. Hello, i am human too...
I know your problems are obviously greater than mine, and I
understand that. But this moon still wants me to be blamed. I still don’t
understand why it has turned red. May be some astrological reason. But my
friends say it’s me. I watch her every night, every moment. I love to have an
eye on her. I am not being possessive. It’s just love, or care i do. Or may be
over care.. I am sorry my dear.
Some say that you
fear me. But why? Nobody has an answer for my question. Did i do something
wrong..? Was loving you my mistake? Or you gave me that much space in your
life. If yes, then why do you want me to be blamed? Please my dear moon, tell
me what was the problem..? All you need is to speak. I will listen to you. I
have done everything what you needed. I tried to make you a little strong. I
wanted to you to be confident when you are alone. I know you look bigger than
stars and you are closer than sun. You have all the reason to be in everybody's
heart. But my dear why do you forget that people only love to watch only two
phases of the moon. And the worst part is that you will fade out someday. And
you will be left with nobody to love. All I wanted was, that you understand this.
Still you turned red, was that my mistake?
These are not the only problems of my life.
See today is a dark moon night. I could not see you today.
I know you were there somewhere. Its dark in here and it will be forever. I
know you are not there still i want to know the reason why you turned red.
After so many days
of thinking, all i want to say is SORRY. I know we can’t be together anymore.
All i wished is that somebody listen to my problems too... Life
is totally unexpected. You think of getting something and all you get is a dark
moon. My best buddy once said there is no market for sorrow. People won’t
listen to your problems, they don’t want to know what made YOU so rude. All
they want to speak about, is there problems. As i said, i understand, your
problems are bigger than mine. Wish i could say my problems, i can’t. Because i
know you don’t listen, you have greater problems to face, why would you listen mine.
Recently, I received a call from a family friend, he said
beta (son), there will be nobody to help you, and "koi kisi ka nahi hota,
na beta ma ka hota he na baap bete ka"(he says life is big, nobody has
time to care for anyone. Not even the only son will care for the parents).
Literally I did not understand what he actually had in his mind. But he later
said (by changing the topic): you should go to Mumbai. You can stay at our house.
(f**k man) I suddenly had a small flash back. I had nothing to say.
I realised, this is my mistake. I did what he did to me.
Yes, may be my friends are right and this may be the reason you turned red. But
when i saw you again why did you said I changed. Yes, I have changed. Now I don’t
care why you turned red. I don’t care if my friends blame me anymore. I am free
today, but still not happy. But i know you won’t turn red anymore. I still can’t
stop watching you. I still want to see you happy and smiling. But do not
underestimate, this time I won’t let anyone blame me for anything. I won’t give
you a chance to say that it’s my fault…
Now all I want is to be alone. Actually I will be alone now
on. But nobody can stop me watching you. I know it will hurt me a lot but I am
sure, you won’t be hurt, at least from my mistakes.
But one thing I will always have in my mind is
"WHY DID THE MOON TURNED RED...???".
